Why moving is difficult for children
For adults, a move is often a deliberate choice, but children rarely asked for it. They lose their familiar environment, their friends, their school and sometimes even their own room. This can lead to sadness, anger, sleep problems or behavioural regression. How a child reacts strongly depends on age and personality. Toddlers and preschoolers often don't understand what is happening and react to their parents' stress. Primary school children are aware of what they're losing, friendships, their club, the familiar route to school. Teenagers may experience it as an attack on their independence and social life. The good news: with the right preparation, honest communication and sufficient attention, children can adapt surprisingly quickly to their new environment. The key is to involve them in the process and take their feelings seriously.
Babies and toddlers (0-3 years): routine is everything
Babies and toddlers don't yet have a strong awareness of their surroundings, but they are extremely sensitive to changes in routine and their parents' emotional state. Try to maintain the daily routine as much as possible: same eating and sleeping times, same bedtime rituals. Pack their room last and set it up first at the new location. Ensure familiar objects, the favourite stuffed animal, the trusted blanket, the dummy, are always within reach and don't accidentally disappear into a moving box. On moving day itself, bring your toddler to grandparents, friends or nursery. The chaos of a moving day is too overwhelming and potentially unsafe for small children. After the move: give extra cuddles, be patient with disrupted sleep behaviour and keep the new house safe with child-proof sockets and stair gates.
Primary school children (4-11 years): involve them
Children of primary school age understand what a move means and can be actively involved. Tell them well in advance about the move and give them space to ask questions and express their feelings. Take them to the new house and neighbourhood, show them their future room and let them discover the playground around the corner. Let them help decide on their room's decoration: what colour on the wall, where the bed goes, which poster hangs above it. This gives them a sense of control and ownership. Organise a farewell party with their friends and help them exchange contact details. At the new school: inform the teacher about the move so extra attention is given. Sign them up for a sports club or hobby group nearby, structured activities are the fastest way to make new friendships. Be patient: it can take weeks to months before a child feels fully at home.
Teenagers (12-17 years): respect their world
A move is often hardest for teenagers. They are in the middle of their identity development, their social life is crucial and they have a strong sense of injustice if they have no voice in important decisions. Take their emotions seriously, anger, sadness and resistance are normal reactions, not unreasonableness. Involve them as early as possible in the decision and explain why the move is necessary. Give them maximum say over their own space in the new house. Facilitate contact with old friends: their own phone, social media, and visits back and forth. Give them time and space to adjust at their own pace, don't force enthusiasm. Help them with the transition to a new school: check with the mentor, look for the same sport or hobby in the new area. Teenagers benefit from a listening ear, not from advice. Acknowledge that it's difficult and show that their feelings matter.
The first weeks after the move
The first weeks in the new house are decisive for how quickly your children adjust. Set up their rooms first and make them cosy with familiar items. Maintain routines: same bedtime, same rules, same family moments. Explore the new neighbourhood together: walk to the bakery, discover the park, find the nearest ice cream shop. Make it an adventure rather than a loss. Be open about your own feelings, children sense when you're stressed, and it helps to be honest: "I'm also adjusting, but together we'll figure it out." Quickly arrange a playdate with children from the neighbourhood or new class. Stay in touch with the school and ask how things are going. And most importantly: give it time. Most children need six to twelve weeks to truly feel at home. Be patient, consistent and loving, the rest will follow naturally.
About Vermaat Verhuizingen
Vermaat Verhuizingen relocates private clients and businesses across the Netherlands. Our articles are written from practical knowledge of the moving trade, from narrow Amsterdam staircases to international moves. More about us →
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